Yes, humble subjects. It is I, Queen Elizabeth I, ruler of this wonderful land of Lists-and-Spreadsheets. It is, as ever, delightful to be in the presence of my loyal friends and servants, including you Lord Good of Intentions, Sir Lofty of Expectations, and Lady Initial of Motivation. Once again, I am sure that you will all be pleasantly surprised that your Queen has deigned it time to embark upon yet another conquest: I will conquer Blogland....
Seriously though, I am the queen of lists (and also spreadsheets...and also lists in the form of spreadsheets). Something you need to understand is how ambitious I am when creating said lists and spreadsheets. Here are the names of a few I have authored:
1)The Ultimate Bi-Annual Cleaning Checklist (a.k.a. Scrub Everything with Toothbrushes)
2)The Best Wedding Ever Where Everything Will Go As Planned Because I Made This Spreadsheet
3) Save Lots of Money Every Month
4) Lose 800 Pounds (a.k.a. Being a Negative Weight is Better Than Being Overweight)
*Please note: Some titles may have been changed to more accurately reflect spreadsheet content
In addition, I think you need to see an example of a list composed by me:
* 5:00 am - Run 10 miles
*5:15 am- Take a shower
*5:18 am- Wash/Dry/Iron any laundry
* 5:25 am- Paint all internal walls. And Ceilings
*6:00 am- Scrub entire house (inside and out) with toothbrushes
*6:32 am- Steam clean carpets
*[Some entries to list have been omitted due to limited space]
*10:45 pm- Read entire Bible
*11:45 pm- Sleep
Needless to say, my lists and spreadsheets are extensive. They are detailed. They can be slightly unrealistic. If only I was Superwoman, or maybe an actual queen with loads of servants to carry out the tasks at hand, then my lists would make sense. But alas, I am a mere mortal and there are only 24 hours in a day.
If I were to accurately title a spreadsheet based on the tasks I end up completing, the titles would look something like this:
1) Get the Whole House Clean on the Same Day Once a Year if You are Lucky
2) My Wedding Will be Awesome Because I Will Show Up and Get Married to the Man I Love
3) At Least We Won't Spend More Than We Earn
4) Lose 10 Pounds in One Year (or Two or Three Years)
The list? It might look something like this:
*8:45 or 9:00 or 9:15- Wake....up......drink...coffee
*9:30 or 10:00- Think about doing stuff
*10:05- Vacuum?
*11:30- Dust?
*12:00- Lunch Break
* 1:30- Think about doing more stuff
*1:45- Procrastinate
*2:00- One load of laundry?
*2:30- Go for a run?
*3:45- Shower
*4:00- Call it a day
So maybe my lists never end up getting everything crossed off, and maybe my spreadsheets are never to be seen again after their initial compositions... but I think I do alright. I mean....I do clean the house at least twice a year whether it needs it or not!
Okay, okay. I may also be the Princess of Exaggeration and Self Deprecation...
The truth is I've got a wonderful husband, a very happy dog (I mean....seriously happy...sometimes she's so happy she pees a little), a fantastic family, and we live in the most beautiful countryside I've ever seen. And to top that all off I am going to update this blog.....
Every day.
Twice.
Funny...I can totally relate to this! So..the every day twice...which category of list does that fall into...Let me guess... :-)
ReplyDeleteBeth this is so funny and creative! Let's see how you do at keeping it up- I guess you could add that to your daily list, twice a day ;-)
ReplyDeleteTut, tut!!! Now I know what happened to my list! I knew it went somewhere.... Ooooops! (blush, blush)....
ReplyDeletethat list said "go for a run?" What was I thinking? That one HAS to be yours....LOL
Cute blog Beth. Looks like it should be fun! :)
That's my girl! Any good project manager knows you need lists. And lists sometimes need to be adapted to the changing realities. After all, no one has a crystal ball, not even the Queen. :-)
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